remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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