my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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