is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
