He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
