There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
