i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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