fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I love having hate sex.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
