this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
