break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
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Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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