Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
