oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
