there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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