You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
