Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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