Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
