I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
