I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
