That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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