He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
