You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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