She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i will never coherently bang her
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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