Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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