I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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