According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, beer. Big fan.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
