I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course