Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT