How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress