U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
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She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
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They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.