I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
