her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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