Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
