i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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