i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
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any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
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Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize