Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
