i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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