UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
