we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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