I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize