Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
