Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize