Sry I called you an 8
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
