Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
