i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
