Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
