How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I still have a little drunk in my system
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
