I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
