I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If I die, sorry about rent.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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