we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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