"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
