If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
