I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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