Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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