dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
