last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
