My balls are so social today.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
