New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
