so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
